Friday, June 22, 2012

Sleeper not sleeping

I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed with regrets the last few days. 
While I'm very happy where I am, I can't say I'm all too pleased with how I got here. Yeah, yeah, I know- the mistakes I made are what got me where I am. I'm not convinced. I think I got here despite my mistakes. 
Why couldn't I have been perfect all the time with everything my life has thrown at me?? Was it really so much to ask of me to handle everything with grace, poise, kindness, wisdom, and patience?? Come on!! There's so much I see as unresolved from my past and the fact that it will all probably stay forever  unresolved, unfixed, and undone eats at my minimalistic, inner-peace-seeking self. 
I realize there's nothing I can do besides live how I want from now on. I know all I can do is start today as the person I want to be. I just... would sleep better if I could go back and change stuff ok!! So.. Whatever!!
It smells like a big fire outside, my baby is pretending she's a load of laundry drying in my tummy, I just finished a whole season of Say Yes to the Dress and I love my pregnant lady cocktail (prune juice and San Pellegrino on the rocks). Everything is fine. 

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