October 19th 2013

Tanner, Hazel and I were sealed as a family in the Salt Lake temple last Saturday. It was beautiful. 

Being four months pregnant with our second, I was feeling fat and record-breakingly cranky all morning, but Tanner cracked three hundred lame jokes, made sure I ate and eventually succeeded in bettering my mood and making me feel lovely. 

Once we made it to the temple that afternoon everything else melted away, and the time we spent in there with our family and close friends was peaceful and happy. Hazel wore the dress my mom wore when she was sealed with her family over 50 years ago. When they brought Hazel into the sealing room and she saw all of the people she loved the most sitting and waiting for her she buried her face in her dress and giggled.

Afterwards we met everyone at Pago for dinner (it was soooo good) and then some of us went bowling. We didn't really care what we were doing, we just wanted to spend time with our families.

It was truly a precious day for us, one that we worked hard and long to get to. 

The ceiling fan

So many tears.

I pick her up

She presses both hands and a cheek against my shoulder.

I turn on Iron and Wine and move my bare feet back and forth across the hardwood floor

Her tired eyes see only our shadows dancing against the wall

The setting sun lights through the window, turns her fine hair to gold

I hum softly with the harmonies, losing track of what time may have passed.

Her tiny toes slowly uncurl from my belt loops

Her tiny breaths even out

Her tiny, straight eyelashes grow too heavy. 

I close my eyes as well. I can't bring myself to lift my lips from the top of her sweet head.

This is heaven, and I'll never be the same.

Pretty things

I really, really love tumblr.

Lepetitete.tumblr.com

One lovely weekend

Two years ago this Presidents' Day weekend, Tanner and I started dating. We fell so fast, four months later we were married.
Anyway, this past weekend was spent playing with Hazel and hanging out doing nothing with our families. It was wonderful!
We spent Sunday at the Guzy's sitting in front of their fireplace talking about being kids and trying to get Hazel to laugh. On Monday we took the little monster swimming at the Marriott with my parents, grabbed some Thai for lunch, wandered City Creek and then got Kobe burgers at Cheesecake Factory for dinner, with dark chocolate truffles for dessert. Yum.
I've been watching a six-month-old little girl named Lily during the week for the past couple weeks, she's darling and loves playing with Hazel.
Tanner just got a job as the store and social media manager of custom suit company Beckett and Robb in Salt Lake. He's loving every second of it, and I love watching him thrive.
I sliced my finger open trying to pit an underripe avocado- bad news. But since I had already taken my pants off for the day, there was no way I was getting dressed again to go get three stitches. So we took the skin glue and bandaid route. I should have put my pants back on.
I got called as second counselor in the Young Womens presidency, and it's awesome. We only have about five girls, and they're the cutest things I've ever known. Tanner's a Gospel Doctrine teacher and he constantly surprises me with his insight.
This little family unit keeps receiving blessing after blessing, and we are beyond thrilled. Life is truly beautiful, even through tough times. The only thing I'm lacking is blue sky and a hot sun, and even that will come soon enough.

Hey, you

Some days I still feel the crazy

Yo Gabba Gabba! isn't that bad

I mean it. It's actually kind of cute.

I am often wishing that I could hold on to every friend I've ever had. 

Hazel's growing up way too fast. 

Tanner and I went to Oregon again last October. It was beautiful, as per usual. We drove, and Hazel was an angel the entire time. 

We moved into a house just behind the state capitol building, and it's absolutely wonderful- our little place, our new ward and callings, living near the city, having a backyard, hearing the bells every morning. It's slightly romantic and a bit charming, and we're loving every minute of it. 

Otis harassed the 210-pound great dane named Leo that lives next door, so Leo tried to eat him. 

It's a new year, which means self-improvement has been on my mind (although really, when isn't it?) 

I aim to be patient, kind, wise and gracious. Is that so hard? Well, if you know me, then maybe you'd say yes. The gracious part isn't always forefront in my arsenal. I wanna be a classy lady for goodness' sake! I want to be a pearls and nightgowns kind of lady. It's tricky getting through the refinery, well, refined instead of charred and crispy though, isn't it. 

Spring is only a few months away. Normally I detest spring, but I look forward to experiencing it with Hazel. Everything is brand new and exciting when you have a kid. 

Well, this is fragmented and incomplete, but I've no idea how to make it any different. 

I hope this year brings my loved ones as much goodness as it's promised to bring me.

"See what happens, Larry?"

Holy crap. I don't know how mommies keep their blogs up to date. How are they not too busy feeding, changing, rocking, staring at, and teaching their babies? Not to mention keeping the house clean and keeping themselves fed and looking somewhat presentable and running errands. How how how??
Luckily for me, I have plenty of family close by to help out, they are simply angels, all of them. Even my in-laws have been amazing. (I say "even" because most people I know really struggle with their in-laws. Mine are superb.)
Hazel is the sweetest thing on this planet. Even when she's crying her eyes out, I can't help but think about how blessed I am. This little girl has made me a better person in every aspect. She's made me healthier, more patient, more forgiving, more compassionate, more peaceful, more determined, more responsible... pretty much more awesome. And now the word more looks weird. Honestly, how quickly my anger and irritation leave when looking at that little tiny human. She puts everything into perspective.
She recently developed acid reflux. Before we knew for sure what it was and were able to treat it, our little family was miserable. She was crying all the time because she was pain, I was crying all the time because she was in pain, Otis is always crying when he doesn't get enough of my attention, and poor Tanner had to deal with it all. There's no stress quite like the stress of having to watch your kid hurt and not being able to take it away. Thank heavens for baby Zantac and rice cereal.
And thank heavens for Tanner. Every day he's what I need. Sometimes that fact irritates the hell out of me, but at the end of the day, if I can swallow my pride (which I'm trying to make a habit of doing), I see very clearly that God knew exactly what He was doing when He brought Tanner into my life. Not to say Tanner's never wrong, not to say he's perfect, but I cringe to think about where I'd be without him. And remember, I'm awesome, so we all know Tanner benefits from this relationship, too.
Mel and Greg and Asher moved a million miles away to Colorado. I miss them like crazy. They're having the time of their lives over there, but I can't wait until they (hopefully) move back in two years.
Welp, sweet child is waking up, so I suppose it's time to "publish" these scattered thoughts so they stop taking up room in my already cramped brain.